Weapons of Mass Destruction
by Reclusive Owl
Summary: The Autobots come into battle with some-unusual- weapons... Rated for language and implied slash.


A/N: Okay, this is a total crack fic, so there's a whole ton of OOC moments and a bunch of random sh- stuff. Just warning all readers: there's gonna be swearing, implied relations, suggestiveness, slash, and a whole bunch of stuff that I don't want you complaining about. It's my fic and if you didn't want to read it, well then, why did you? Never mind, off subject. Hope it amused you to at least some degree…

Disclaimer: If I owned transformers, why would I be writing on fan fiction? Use your brain here! I'm not a zombie; I won't eat it if you actually use it for once… And for those of you who realized there was no possibility I actually owned them, well good for you.

"Blah"- normal speech

/Blah/-comm. Link

:/Blah :/ -twin bond

Now, on with the story!

"Decepticons, Attack!"

The loudly shouted order rang out, breaking the calm darkness surrounding the power plant. Several metal beings descended from the night sky, destroying the outer wall of the complex. The few humans assigned to the night shift panicked, racing for safety. A lone, small figure ran to the alarm button, alerting the Autobots to the Decepticon attack. At the Ark, the alarm sounded jolting the Autobots from recharge.

The red half of the terror twins woke up suddenly as the Decepticon alarm sounded and promptly fell off his berth with a clang and a ripping sound.

"Dang it! And I really liked that one, too!" he groaned out sleepily, looking down at the torn blanket in his servos. A light blue glow light the air above him as another mech looked down at the sprawled heap on the floor.

"I told you that would happen again, Sideswipe, if you slept with it tangled around you like that, but you never listen to me," the golden mech sat up, looking down at his crimson half amused.

"But Sunny… I really, really liked this one! It was fuzzy!" Sideswipe whined to his golden twin.

"Poor sparkling…" the golden warrior said in a mocking tone. "And don't call me Sunny." He added as an afterthought.

"Hey! At least I don't sleep with a teddy bear,_ Sunstreaker_!" the red one pointed accusingly his twin.

"Don't you dare bring Mr. Furball into this! Or-or I'll tell Prowl you have a crush on him!"

"What! I don't like Prowl!"

"Prowl and Sideswipe sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-S-S-S-S-I-N-G!"

"You spelled 'kissing' wrong…" Sideswipe told his brother.

"Not if it was for a long time!" Sunstreaker sing-songed back.

"I've told about a trillion times! I don't. Like. PROWL!" he shouted, trying to stand so he could tackle his twin. The action caused the already torn blanket to tangle around his legs, tripping him. A loud clang sounded as the crimson warrior landed on his faceplates.

"…Ow…" he blinked, limbs tangled in the soft blanket.

"Walk much?" Sunstreaker smirked down at his brother.

"Hmph! Shut up, Sunny…" Sideswipe grumbled. He jumped slightly as his internal comm. link went off.

/Prowl to Sideswipe./ the voice of his CO came over the link, not a hint of emotion tingeing it, but Sideswipe had dealt long enough with the Autobot SIC to know when he was peeved.

/Sides here!/ the crimson and obsidian mech answered with a grin.

/Where are you two? Prime called for all available warriors to head out to battle the Decepticon attack on the power plant./

/We're coming! Be there in a click!/

/Fine. Prowl out./

"Let's go, Sunny! Or they're going to head out without us! I wanna go kick some Decepti-creep aft!" he exclaimed to his sibling as he raced out the door, the shredded remains of his blanket still in his servos.

"Sides! Wait, you idiot! You still have that fragging blanket with you," his twin said, racing after him. "And don't call me Sunny!"

"Oh… eh, I'll just put it in subspace," he said, stuffing the shredded length of fuzzy material into his subspace box. Both twins transformed as soon as they cleared the entrance, speeding to catch up with the convoy.

"Slag those fragging seekers!" Ratchet shouted as he dodged yet another laser blast. He continued on to where Huffer was laying, sparks shooting out of the hole in his chassis.

"Hey, look at the stupid Autodolt dance Thundercraker!" a screechy voice shouted down from above. Ratchet looked up at the Decepticon command trine leader, sneering up at the white and red jet.

"At least I'm not a flying femme!" he shouted up at the annoying Decepticon SIC.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"He he! Flying Femme! Screamer's a flying femme!" the dark purple and black jet collapsed in a giggle fit midair, the other light blue jet not even trying to hold back his own chuckling.

"Shut up, Skywarp! Or it won't only be Autobots I'll be slagging today!" Starscream shouted at his trine mate.

/I need some fragging aft cover over here! I won't be able to even get to Huffer if these Pit-damned Seekers keep shooting at me! And their giving me a headache! / Ratchet shouted over the general comm.

/We read you, Hatchet! The Terror Twins will take care of them for you! / Sideswipe's cheekily cheery voice answered the medic's distress call.

/So help me, I won't fix you if you get yourself slagged being an idiot, Sideswipe! / Ratchet growled back.

Not bothering to respond to the threat (both brothers had heard the same thing every other orn), Sideswipe began heading for his brother, who was currently beating on Blitzwing.

:/Give a brother a boost, bro?/: he asked over their shared twin bond.

Throwing away his opponent, the golden twin turned just in time to toss his older twin into the air towards the troublesome trio of jets. Running forward, Sunstreaker nimbly leapt onto a startled Astrotrain, using the large triple-changer like a ladder, before launching himself off the Con's faceplates towards his crimson twin. Grabbing hold of his gold brother, Sideswipe engaged his jetpack and steered them towards the Command trine. Breaking apart, the twins each leapt onto a Seeker.

"Get. Off. ME!" Starscream shrieked as Sideswipe latched onto him.

"Hey, Screamer! Remember _me?_" Sideswipe grunted, yanking at the Seeker's wings in an attempt to steer him off course.

"Nuh uh! You're not doing this again!" With that said, Starscream began to barrel roll.

"Whoa!" Sideswipe gripped the Seeker's wings harder. On the fourth rotation, he felt his grip loosen. Spotting Thundercracker nearing him in the air (probably on his way to help Skywarp deal with a pissy Sunstreaker) Sideswipe let go of Starscream and leapt onto him. As he landed, the resulting clang caused his overstuffed subspace box to open slightly and the corner of the ripped blanket he'd stuffed in to flutter out.

This, however, went unnoticed as he bent closer to the Con as Thundercracker tried the same trick as Starscream. He almost lost his grip as the blue jet straightened with a gasp.

"Wha-AH-t the slag!" the Seeker gasped out as he began shaking underneath the Autobot twin.

"What?" Sideswipe asked, bewildered. "I haven't done anything to you, yet! Well, besides jumping on…"

"Ack! Whatever you're doing, cut it out! Gah! It TICKLES!" To Sideswipe's amazement, the gruff seeker broke down in hysterical giggles more fitting for Skywarp. Looking down at the jet, Sideswipe tried to figure out what was setting him off. Twisting, he looked down at his own chassis and noticed his subspace box was open and a corner of his fuzzy blanket hanging out, barely brushing the Seeker's wing.

The red hellion grinned, an idea forming in his processor. Carefully removing a shred of the blanket and gripping the Seeker with his knees, he rapped the fuzzy material around one servo.

"Let's see how you deal with this!" he shouted over the wind.

Quickly striking down, he drove the strip of cloth in-between sensitive joints on the Seeker's wing. Thundercracker swore, diving towards the ground, as he felt the ticklish substance invade his wing joints. Sideswipe leapt off the downed Seeker, watching as the blue jet transformed into his biped form, digging at his own wing joints in an attempt to free himself from the Pit-damned thing the red frontliner had jammed into his wing.

"Thundercracker! What are you doing?!" Starscream yelled at his trine mate, who was currently rolling back and forth on the ground in hysterias.

"Ge-EH-t it off me!" the blue jet yelped out between giggles.

"What did you do to him?!" the furious commander growled at the red half of the Terror Twins.

"I used my ultimate weapon against him. One you should all fear!" Sideswipe proclaimed with a wide grin on his face.

By now, about half of the fighting had stopped to look over at the frantically laughing mech, and it stopped altogether at the crimson mech's proclamation.

"Oh, yeah? And what would that be?" Starscream sneered at the crazily grinning mech in front of him.

:/Please, Sides! Don't say it! :/ Sideswipe's grin only grew at his twin's plea across their bond.

"I have on me a weapon of mass destruction!" he shouted loudly.

"I don't know him…" the groan could be heard coming from the golden twin, who was standing a few meters away next to a crashed Skywarp. A grin was thrown his way for the complaint.

Turning back to the Decepticon Aerial Commander, Sideswipe reached into his subspace.

"Behold your doom! The fuzzy blanket!" he paused for effect, taking in the stupefied gazes around him, and continued on, barely keeping a straight face. "FEAR THE FUZZY!" he shouted.

~T.B.C.~

A/N: *looks at what was just written* what have I done?

Review please (and could you please be nice? It's my first one…)

If you see any mistakes, could you please point them out? And I'm not joking about reviewing...


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